George Carlin - R.I.P.

För ca 1 och 1/2 vecka sen (söndag 22 juni) dog en av de riktigt stora komikerna i världen - George Carlin. Förmodligen står han och drar oneliners med Richard Pryor, John Belushi och Chris Farley nånstans i komikerhimlen och har det soft. Carlin hade en sjukt vass tunga och var kungen när det gällde att genom humor kritisera organiserad religion, politik och allt som anses vara politiskt korrekt.

"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."

"Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature."

"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."

Sen var han grym på att leka med ord och komma med schyssta oneliners som inte bara är roliga utan också på sitt sätt väldigt sanna.

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?"

"Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!"

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”"

"If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball."

"I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed."

"Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?"

"So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family."

Så avslutar vi med det som tyvärr ingen av oss i längden klarar av:

"I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade."

Har ni inte sett en av Carlins stand-upfilmer så skaffa nu! Det finns ett gäng att välja och vraka mellan. Jag rekommenderar de från 90-talet och framåt då han blir vassare med åren, samt att en del grejer är jävligt tidsbundna och saker som var aktuella 1971 makes no sense idag.
/Surskägget